Have you ever experienced feelings of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and confusion to the point you don’t want to live anymore? About 6 years ago, I experienced all of this. I am here today, healthy and whole because God was my hope and deliverer. When I was 15 weeks pregnant, I was dilated 2cm and the doctor put me on bed rest. Then the doctor discovered I had hypothyroid. It’s difficult to describe because I had never experienced anything like it before. My mind felt like it was going crazy and I was out of control. My heart was constantly racing, I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t sleep, and my body shook all over. It was too much to handle. In order to cope, I had to get out of the house and drive around the neighborhood at 2am in the morning to pray; otherwise, I could have harmed myself. I did this every night for about 3 months. I even said, “God if you’re not going to heal me, then just kill me.” I thought dying was the best solution for relief. That’s how bad it was. On top of all of this, I was vomiting every single day, numerous times a day and ended up in the hospital 3 different times. The doctor had to give me a shot so I didn’t go into labor early at 15 weeks in hopes of keeping the baby a little bit longer. The doctor planned to deliver the baby on week 21. She said it wasn’t a guarantee that the baby would even be ok if delivered that early; but I believed God and refused to allow that fact to affect me. I kept praying for full term, because I believe God is a God of miracles.
Finally, I received my miracle! My daughter was born at 37 weeks. After she was born, I continued to fight with my thyroid. I prayed even more for my healing and refused to take the medication the doctor had given me. I had told my doctor that God was going to heal me, and she got really upset. She said, if God is going to heal you, he’s going to heal you through the medication. So, I ended up taking the medication again. Unfortunately, it made me throw up so I stopped taking it. I thought maybe God had already healed me and that’s why the medication was causing me to throw up. I went back to the doctor for the blood test and it came back clear. I even went back 2 more times to double check and the blood test was still clear. I told the doctor, “See, I told you God would heal me.”
What I am trying to share with you? I understand how depression and anxiety feel. It is very overwhelming. You may be feeling like you’re going to jump out of your skin and may feel like you can’t live anymore. But I want to tell you, there is a way out of this. It is through prayer! God is the God of hope. He is more capable than you think!
Proverbs 4: 20-22
My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.
By Mei Powers